When I hear somebody say that the company is  just like a family,  I think it is just a lie. You are family if you can borrow some money without paying it back, or do not come to work for 15 days and still have the job, or go home everyday after you eat lunch.

The problem is employees get seduced into this euphoric feeling of this when a company does nice things for its employees and it’s sometimes, in small companies, unavoidable not to be more personal on some level. This is great and commendable but employees should never confuse exceptional treatment with being “family.”

Am I a cynic, I don’t think so. You can be personable, friendly, etc. while all the time maintaining a distance with your personal life and not getting involved with employers and employees into each other’s intimate aspects. Granted sometimes friendships are forged but this is normally the exception to the rule.

Years ago I worked for a company that the minute a person left everyone told everyone everything that person had said in confidence; I mean all the personal aspects of their life was now being discussed in an open session and analyzed. I hated this and was able to learn this early in my career don’t tell anyone anything that wasn’t basic general information about your life. This has served me well throughout my career. People can guess about things but that doesn’t mean they actually know real facts unless you tell them.

I never get too close to co-workers and management so when the time comes and the job is no more as it always does nothing of “me” is vested into company. Personally I think that makes for a better worker because the focus is the job you are doing not who you are aligned with. Sometimes this is a disadvantage because a lot of employers like “owning” their employees and knowing their intimate lives give them an advantage of keeping them in what I call “work servitude.” Employees also milk this for job security. Either way it is not a good position.

I would rather be friendly to everyone, treat people with respect and do a “productive” days work instead of spending my day gossiping and “networking [goofing off]“. There is nothing wrong with keeping abreast of company information but who Mary is having an affair with outside of the office is none of anyone’s business unless it’s the owner then unless it affects your job its still none of your business.

Yes some things may need to be disclosed that might interfere with your job such as child care issues, sick relatives, and death in the family and so on. Regardless you still don’t have to give details. Just tell your employer the general situation and then how it may affect your work time. Personal details are not necessary. For example, you have a spouse who is an alcoholic needing treatment. All you have to tell your boss is you need to take time to care for a sick relative and the time you may need off.

I remember one time I walked into the owner’s office for business and had to listen to a conversation with one employee and the owner discussing the employee’s daughter’s boyfriend. It was sexual in nature and I didn’t need or want to hear this nonsense. I guess this employee has job security thru indentured servitude.

Nothing lasts forever so there may come a time when the employee is laid off or fired and not only are they shocked in the first place but there are those added emotions of dealing with broken relationships too. Suddenly, years of personal contact have left you with co-workers who won’t give you the time of day and a boss who just severed a relationship and your job. How could this have happened after all weren’t you part of a family?

All this could have been avoided had you kept everything on a professional level and your personal life just that, personal. Then all you would have to cope with is a lost job and finding a new one. What you need to remember, this time around, is it’s a job and not your family.

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